Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave
by ilovedracomalfoy22
Summary: Sirius loves lily, who loves him back, but doesnt know it yet, and is going out with james who only stays with lily because sirius wants her, and cant stand not having something sirius wants.Plus he is cheating on her.Rated for Future purposes.if u get me
1. The Poem

**Disclaimer:** must I say it? Lmao. Here you go jk, hither be yours until the end is no longer everlasting… if that makes sense.

_Don't break my heart; don't tear me apart, why must my soul rip in two? You say you care, yet you are not there, now what am I supposed to do. Yet, I know you will always love me, I know you will always care, and I wish that could have been there… When I see you with him, I seem to fall apart. I wish you'd known this from the start, before you loved him more than me, before he told you it was meant to be, before I had to realize, that I am nothing with out you, and I cant stand to know that he doesn't love you as much as I do. I know he cheats on you, the way he said he would never do, it hurts me to know the end will be hard, he is playing a card, on you. Lily, why don't you love me too? Will you want me when you and he are through? One day you will say 'I do' but who will you say it to? Lily, I will wait for you, I will not treat you as he does. Even if he is my best mate, if he is willing to participate in a game of strip chess, with Ravenclaw girls, when you are in bed, wondering why he was so eager to leave so late. He does not deserve you; you cannot be treated like some useless trophy. I love you more than anything does; he barely loves you better than food. Baby, I love you._

_Sirius_

Sirius stared at the poem… if you can call it that. He saw a tear fall to the parchment.

_That better not be my own tear. I will kick my own arse for being suck a wanker_. He thought to himself.

Sirius wiped his eyes and sighed. He hated his life. His one true love was with his best mate. What was he to do?

He tied his torso length hair with a rubber band. He always grew his hair out when he was depressed. He was sick of it; he liked his short, shoulder-length hair galleons better. His gray eyes still glistened with sadness. However, he had no time to wallow in self-pity, he had to hide the poem/letter somewhere inquiring minds and wondering eyes would not find it.

He almost considered giving it to her, but he had a feeling she loathed him. At the thought, his stomach dropped, it felt as if he was on a rollercoaster, and he had just gone straight down at full speed.

_Please Lily, do not hate me, I have done nothing wrong, and I love you, Lily, please. _He pleaded uselessly in his mind.

Sirius hid the poem in a charmed music box. His elder sister, the only sibling he did not despise, had given it to him when he was younger. The boys would never even attempt to open the box; they had once before, and they were greeted by a very difficult equation even Remus could not solve.

It was part of a charm- if someone other than the owner attempted to open it, they would be greeted by many things, but seeing as they were just at school, and weren't trying to cause harm, it just made their brains ache a bit.

Right as he was closing the box, James, Remus, Peter, and _gasp_ Lily, came into the dorm.

Sirius quickly sat on his bed and started putting away his parchment, ink, and quill.

"Evening Padfoot." James greeted him cheerily.

"Evening Prongs, Moony, Wormtail." He greeted.

"Evening." The other two said in unison.

Sirius looked at Lily, and she looked at him, they held eye contact until he started to blush and looked away.

"E-evening Lily." He stuttered, steadily turning redder.

She giggled and smoothed his hair. "Evening Sirius."

She kissed him on the cheek and smiled. He hated when she did that.

_Oh, it is a kiss on the cheek between friends. In addition, James does not even notice. Nice boyfriend he is._ He quickly stopped thinking about it as his eyes started to water. In addition, he surely did not want to cry in front of the boys, but especially not _her_.

"Just needed the map, but we'll be heading out now..." James said to Sirius.

"Alright, I'll just get back to my um… whatever I was doing." He replied absently.

He said 'bye' to his fellow Marauders and layback onto his bed.

"_Hem hem._" He heard someone say.

He jumped, not knowing he was not alone in the dorm.

"Oh, sorry Sirius. I didn't intend to frighten you." Lily said nervously.

"It's alright Lils."

Lily sat back down on Sirius's bed. She looked at her feet for a moment, and then looked at him.

"Sirius… I l… I lo…" she struggled.

Sirius looked at her and sat up. "Lily, you don't have to say anything. I know you hate me, its fine."

Lily looked like she had been hit by a rouge bludger quite a few times.

She recovered and cleared her throat, "Siri, I don't hate you. I… I…" she gave up and sighed, "I miss you. You're always so secretive and quiet around me."

Sirius looked away from her and wiped his eyes. He would NOT cry he would NOT…

Lily scooted a bit closer to him and leaned in close to his face.

Sirius's breath caught in his throat.

"Lily, you don't know what it's like, having to amount up to James, how hard it is not to tell yo…" he stopped short. Lily looked like she was about to cry. And it would be his entire fault.

He leaned a little bit closer, and kissed the corner of her mouth. He would never amount to James. He had the world now. And Sirius did not have shit.

A single tear crawled down Sirius' cheek and Lily wiped it away tenderly.

"I have something for you." He said without thinking twice. He was going to give her the poem.

After her retrieved it, he gave it to her and made her swear not to open it until she was in her bed with the curtains drawn. She obliged.

"Promise?" he asked.

"Yea. I swear on it, Siri."

He hugged her and she got up to leave.

"I always think about you Siri, even when I'm with him, I imagine that its you I'm with."

With that, she walked out, leaving Sirius to cry behind his bed curtains.

**A/N: I promise it will not be depressing all the way through. I cannot have Sirius all down. Review:D**


	2. Shrill,Girl Like Scream

**Disclaimer: Belongs to J.K. Rowling**

Miss Evans was not crying. She was bawling her eyes out.

She could not believe how awful of a person she was.

She also could not believe what the poem had said about James!

She reread the saddest parts- Don't break my heart; don't tear me apart, why must my soul rip in two? You say you care, yet you are not there, now what am I supposed to do. When I see you with him, I seem to fall apart. I wish you'd known this from the start, before you loved him more than me, before he told you it was meant to be, before I had to realize, that I am nothing with out you, and I cant stand to know that he doesn't love you as much as I do.

I know he cheats on you, the way he said he would never do, it hurts me to know the end will be hard, he is playing a card, on you. Lily, why don't you love me too?

That was where she had started crying very hard; she saw a tear on the word 'love' in the last sentence. He had been crying.

One day you will say 'I do' but who will you say it to?

Even after she had stopped reading it, the words rang in her head, like slow torture. …if he is willing to participate in a game of strip chess, with Ravenclaw girls, when you are in bed, wondering why he was so eager to leave so late.

She could not believe James would do such a thing, but Sirius would know.

Only he would… He does not deserve you; you cannot be treated like some useless trophy.

Then, the words that over powered the rest, the last words. Words that would scar her until she obliged to the longing calls of her aching heart.

Baby, I love you.

Lily curled up in a ball on her bed, curtains closed as she promised. She could not get Sirius out of her head. All she wanted to do was go in his dorm and hug him, or just be near him. She needed him.

She knew she could not talk to James, and as far as she was concerned- they were over.

Lily took the scrunchy from her wrist and tied her hair up in a loose ponytail. She drew back her curtains, and put Sirius's poem under her pillow. She put her legs over the side of her bed and stood up.

She could make it there and back in about a half hour… well it depended on whether Sirius was asleep or not.

She tiptoed to the common room, and from there made her way to Sirius's dorm. She opened the door slowly and peeked in.

She observed that all the curtains were closed- so she walked in, slowly making her way over to  
Sirius's bed.

She drew back the curtains a bit, and whispered. "Sirius, its me, Lily, are you awake?"

"Yea, I'm up. Come on in." a weak, sad voice sounded. Lily's heart ached as she heard his pitiful sounding voice.

She slipped in and sat on his bed, facing him. His head was down, and tears fell to the blanket beneath him.

"Siri," she murmured softly, "are you alright?" Sirius looked up and managed a weak smile that did not reach his eyes.

"I won't lie to you Lils, I'm not." Lily reached out for his hand and held it, rubbing the top softly.

"Sirius, me and James are over. He doesn't know it yet, but we are." She said, situating herself so that she was right next to him.

His eyes brightened. "Really?" he asked, trying not to sound too eager.

She nodded and hugged him, both of them feeling relief. "I'll always love you Sirius." Lily whispered in his ear.

At that, he cupped her face in his hand and kissed her tenderly on the lips, electrical sots shooting through the both of them. They pulled away after what seemed a lifetime, and stared in each other's eyes.

Lily was so exhausted, that she ended up falling asleep in Sirius's bed.

And Sirius, being unnaturally gentleman like, turned to his animangus form so that she would have more room.

They awoke at about 9:00 AM from an unpleasant, shrill, girl-like scream coming from Mr. James Potter.

"PADFOOT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!!??" he screamed, his face becoming red from yelling so much.

Sirius quickly changed back into his original, human form, and stretched.

"What you mean Prongs? Off your walker this early? Wow, I think you need a refill on your medication."

Remus snorted, but stopped short when James snapped his head around to look  
at him.

"Don't you get involved in this Moony, remember our talk last night?" he asked, he eyes quite large and popping out of his head.

"Yea, I do, and my arse is still sor… I mean, yea." He said nervously. James shot him a look, and then turned back to Sirius and Lily. "Lily, are you on some drug? Did he rape you?"

"Um, no. I was too tired to go back to my dorm, so Siri let me stay in his bed…"

"SIRI!? IS THIS A PET NAME? HUH? AND WHY WERE YOU IN HERE?"

"Geeze, mum. I call him that because I can, and I'll tell you that I damn well wasn't in here to see you." Mouths dropped to the floor, and Lily got up.

"Later Moony, Wormtail, Sirius."

She bent down and gave Sirius a short kiss, all the while, glaring at James. She walked to the door, and walked out; she quickly came back, only her head through the door.

"Oh Jamesie." She said in the sweetest voice.

He smirked, "Yea pumpkin?"

She went back to glaring at him and said in a deadly voice, "We're through. Go hang with a Ravenclaw whore."

And with that, she was gone.

Peter snorted.

Moony's eyes got big.

Sirius barely stifled a laugh.

And James yelled so loud, that all of Hogwarts could hear him say, "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

**He He. James/ Remus possibility? You will see. Review. Beta'd by Sen2TOS9.**


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